Ah, the Collison brothers. Patrick and John, the Irish wunderkinds who turned an idea into a multibillion-dollar empire before most of us figured out how to bake bread properly. The co-founders of Stripe didn’t just stumble onto success , they sprinted onto it, hurdling over obstacles with the grace of Olympic champions and the brainpower of… well, geniuses.
So, how do you raise siblings who not only tolerate each other but also become business moguls together? Here’s your guide, with a generous sprinkle of satire, some truth, and a whole lot of hope.
Step 1: Nurture Curiosity Like It’s a Fragile Baby Chick
Patrick and John grew up in a household where curiosity wasn’t just encouraged; it was practically a religion. Their parents fed their endless questions with encyclopedias, science kits, and probably a magic portal to a library the size of the Smithsonian.
Want genius-level siblings? Trade the TV remote for telescopes, swap TikTok binges for tech-building kits, and fill your home with books that make your kids go, “Wait, did you know black holes can evaporate?!!”
Parents, if you’re not answering 50 “why” questions a day, you’re doing it wrong. Kids, take notes: the world is your playground, and asking “why” about everything is the fastest way to unlock its secrets. (Yes, even if your parents’ answer is “Because I said so.”)
Step 2: Pit Sibling Rivalry Against Big Problems
Normal siblings argue about who gets the last slice of pizza. Future billionaires argue about how to fix payment systems for the entire internet. If you want to raise the next Collisons, redirect sibling spats into collaborative problem-solving sessions.
Here’s a pro tip: Make big problems family games. “How would you design a city with no traffic jams?” or “What’s the best way to grow food on Mars?” Start young, and soon your kids will realize they’re better as a team than as gladiators fighting over who left the milk out.
Adolescents, take a note from the Collisons’ playbook: Instead of tattling, build something together. Maybe it’s an app. Maybe it’s a lemonade stand with a Venmo option. Just start.
Step 3: Redefine Success, Spoiler Alert: It’s Not Just Straight A’s
If the Collison parents had a motto, it was probably, “Grades are good, but knowledge is better.” While Patrick and John were academically brilliant, they weren’t just bookworms , they were builders, dreamers, and doers.
Encourage your kids to excel in school but not at the expense of their creativity. Teens, take your GPA seriously, sure, but don’t forget to follow your passion projects. Build a robot. Write a novel. Invent a machine that flips pancakes automatically (please).
Pro parenting move: When your kid says, “I want to start a business,” resist the urge to say, “You can do that after college.” Instead, say, “Cool. What’s your business plan?” Then watch them Google “What is a business plan?”
Step 4: Turn Family Vacations Into TED Talks
The Collison family didn’t do vacations like normal people. Instead of going to theme parks, they visited places where they could learn something , museums, tech hubs, or even other countries.
Parents, don’t worry. You don’t need a passport and a Silicon Valley tour guide to make this work. Even a trip to the local science center or a hackathon counts. Adolescents, take this as your cue to turn road trips into inspiration expeditions. Skip the endless Spotify scrolling and queue up a podcast on innovation instead.
Step 5: Encourage Moonshot Thinking… and a Sense of Humor
The Collisons didn’t just dream big; they dreamed absurdly big. But here’s the kicker: they weren’t afraid to laugh at themselves when things didn’t work out perfectly.
Adolescents, let this be your mantra: “It’s okay to fail spectacularly as long as you learn from it.” Parents, make it clear that aiming for Mars is better than aiming for the couch. Celebrate wild ideas, even if they sound crazy. (Except maybe “Let’s build a rocket in the living room.” There’s a line.)
Step 6: Foster Financial Savvy Early
Stripe’s whole business model revolves around simplifying payments, so it’s no surprise the Collisons understood money early on. Teach your kids about finances before they’re swiping credit cards for overpriced coffee.
Parents, turn allowances into mini-lessons on budgeting, saving, and investing. Teens, start side hustles. Sell your art, tutor your friends, or create an Etsy store for hand-knitted alpaca scarves. The world’s your oyster, and every dollar earned is a lesson learned.
Step 7: Stay Grounded
Despite their immense success, the Collisons remain refreshingly humble. They’re proof that you can conquer the business world without becoming insufferable.
Parents, teach your kids that kindness and humility aren’t just virtues; they’re competitive advantages. Teens, remember: being a jerk is never cool, no matter how big your bank account gets.
Raising sibling geniuses like Patrick and John Collison isn’t about following a strict formula; it’s about creating an environment where curiosity thrives, failure is just a stepping stone, and big dreams are celebrated. So, parents, dust off those science kits, and teens, start dreaming bigger. Who knows? The next Collison duo might just come from your family.
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