Ladies, we need to talk. And by “talk,” I mean we need to dissect your love life like it’s a high school science project you forgot about until the night before. You think he’s cute. He makes you laugh. Your bestie swears he’s a walking red flag but, like, maybe she just doesn’t get him? Before you start planning your future couple’s Halloween costumes, let’s do a little soul-searching. Ask yourself these five questions, and the truth will be revealed.
1. Does He Make You Feel Like the Main Character?
If your love story feels like a background subplot in his life, we have a problem. A real one. Does he hype you up when you send a fire selfie? Does he remember that one oddly specific thing you told him about your childhood goldfish? Or is he too busy talking about himself and his “insane” Call of Duty kill streak? If you’re not feeling like the main character, girl, it’s time to recast.
2. Is He Emotionally Available, or Is He a Human Brick Wall?
If getting him to talk about his feelings is harder than getting your little brother to shower, that’s a red flag. A guy who genuinely cares about you will be willing to open up, not just grunt in response when you ask, “Hey, how was your day?” Emotional intelligence is attractive. Immaturity is not.
3. Does He Respect Your Boundaries, or Is He Playing Games?
If you say you need space, does he give it to you, or does he guilt-trip you into FaceTiming him for three hours? If you say you’re not comfortable with something, does he listen or roll his eyes? Respect isn’t optional, and it’s definitely not something you should have to negotiate for. If he thinks boundaries are just suggestions, he’s not the right one, he’s just another walking .
4. Would Your Best Friend Call Him in an Emergency?
Listen. Your bestie has been there for you through everything, the bad haircuts, the questionable outfit choices, and the tragic text message typos. If she doesn’t trust him, you need to pause. A real one will have your inner circle saying, “Wow, I love how he treats you!” Not, “Ugh, him again?”
5. Can You Be 100% Yourself Around Him?
Can you send him your ugliest Snapchats, or are you still carefully curating your texts like you’re crafting a museum exhibit? If you feel like you have to edit yourself, dim your personality, or pretend to be someone you’re not, then what are we even doing here? Love isn’t a performance; it’s finding someone who thinks you’re awesome exactly as you are.
The Verdict?
If he passed all five of these questions, congrats, queen! You may have found a keeper. If not, don’t stress, there are plenty of emotionally mature fish in the sea (even if they do all seem to live in different time zones).
Now tell me: Which question gave you the biggest wake-up call? Drop your thoughts in the comments!