Let’s be real, friendship can sometimes feel like an episode of Survivor, where you’re dodging shady comments instead of poison arrows. You might think your bestie is just being “honest” or “looking out for you,” but what if they’re actually your biggest hater in disguise?
Yep, frenemies exist. And they’re sneakier than ever. So, if you’ve ever left a hangout feeling worse about yourself than when you arrived, it’s time to investigate. Here are five telltale signs your “friend” might actually be your personal sabotage artist.
1. They Serve Backhanded Compliments Like a Five-Star Chef
“Omg, you’re so brave for wearing that outfit!” Uh, thanks? But also… what? If your friend consistently hypes you up in ways that somehow feel like subtle insults, that’s a red flag bigger than your latest online shopping regret. Real friends uplift you without the passive-aggressive seasoning.
What to do: Call it out! Next time they try to pull this, hit ‘em with a sweet but direct, “Wait, what do you mean by that?” and watch them backpedal real quick.
2. They Always Have That Tone When You Succeed
Did you just land a dream opportunity, ace an exam, or finally master that winged eyeliner? Instead of cheering you on, they hit you with, “Wow, must be nice,” or worse, complete silence. A true friend will hype you up, not act like your success personally offends them.
What to do: Pay attention to their energy. If they can’t celebrate your wins, you need to reconsider their role in your life. (And then go find a hype squad that actually deserves you.)
3. They Lowkey Compete With You on Everything
You say you like a new hobby? Suddenly, they’re an expert at it. You mention a crush? Now they’re suddenly so close with them. If your “friend” always tries to one-up you, they’re not your biggest supporter, they’re your biggest rival.
What to do: Stop sharing your moves with them. Let them play their little competition game alone while you thrive in peace.
4. They Only Show Up When It Benefits Them
Need a shoulder to cry on? Crickets. Need help moving? Suddenly, they’re “so busy.” But when they need something, you’re the first person they call. If your friendship feels like a one-sided emotional ATM, you’re being used, not valued.
What to do: Set boundaries! Friendships should be a two-way street, not a dead-end road where you do all the emotional labor.
5. They Keep You Around Just to Feel Superior
If they constantly point out your flaws, remind you of your embarrassing moments, or act like your personal life coach (without you asking), chances are they need you around to make themselves feel better. Newsflash: You are not their emotional punching bag.
What to do: Recognize that real friends help you grow, they don’t keep you small. If someone thrives on making you feel less-than, they gotta go.
So, What’s Next?
If you’ve recognized one (or all) of these signs in your “bestie,” it’s time to rethink the friendship. Ask yourself: Do I feel good after spending time with them? If the answer is no, then girl, you already know what to do.
Now tell me, have you ever had a secret hater in disguise? Spill the tea in the comments!